Umm.....

Dad went back home to Bangalore! The house is going to become empty again!

Bawwwlll :'((

There a few guests - two of them leaving today & two more leaving tomorrow. So by tomorrow, the house is going to come back to its own shape again! After all the hullabaloo with so many people around!

My mom says, when I was a kid, if any guests were getting ready to leave, I would start bawling & begging them not to leave :D People who have known me since I was born and have seen me do all that - pinch my cheeks now and say - it used to be so cute when you cried like that, asking us not to go.

Hmm :D

I don't cry for anybody now, but even after 2 years of him staying away, I still get all weepy & emotional & senti when dad leaves for his place. So usually, I don't even look at him when he's leaving because am very scared I won't be able to control my tears from rolling down! Dad understands that well and doesn't usually ask me too many questions before leaving. He simply says bye & leaves.

It happens with both of them - even if my mom has to go somewhere and be away for a few days, I get all weepy inside. I used to cry openly as a kid, but when you grow up and are considered an adult for the world - crying for things like this is looked upon as silliness and branded as weak! And the only thing you can do is cry inside.

Sigh! 

I wish I could grow - actually & not just for the world! 

I wish I could get rid of the lump in my throat as I write this! 

I wish I didn't have this over-active water tap somewhere behind my eyes!

I wish I was not this emotional! 

I wish I was stronger!