Aarrghh!

I am a girl (more like a lady now) and I am at an age when all that everybody around me is worried about is when will I 'settle' down.

Its crazy, you know? All of my friends are all busy getting married these days. Kids younger than me by years are all busy too with the same work. And then, I have my sister at home who's due in September. So the routine now when we meet friends:

Aunty: Hiiii.. how are you ma? How is your health now? Morning sickness and all is still there ah?
Sister: yes aunty - a little weak. Nausea and all.. its tiring.
Aunty: Yes yes... it will be like this for sometime. You must do this, then do that and also don't forget to do that thing also, ok na?
(turning to me) - So Sindhu, You are next... we are all waiting for you to follow the steps now, you know? Hihihi...

And if it was an elderly lady, you can replace the last dialogue with - So Sindhu, you are next.. if we can see you also like this as soon as possible (cough), we'll be happy when we have to pass on, you know (cough, cough)...

And there I am, with a stoopid grin on my face, but cringing inside! Sigh :-|

Its so difficult actually, when people keep asking you such questions. I mean - I know they mean well and all that, but then, things will happen when they have to, right? It's not like I control everything. And add to it, its not at all an easy decision! Think about it - you are going to be saying yes to someone you are going to spend ALLLLLLL of your future with!! And there's no way ever to get out of the effects that the decision will have on you, your life and your immediate family - whether happy or otherwise. Marriage is such a big gamble, no?

It doesn't make things any easier for me considering am basically confused about this whole thing and when somebody asks me what I want - I go--.Umm... its like.. err.. It should be.. uh.. I don't know..! And my mom, with a tired face, says.. Sigh! I know you don't know what you want! And you aren't ready to listen to us give you any ideas, either.

But throughout all this drama, I have to thank God for being my constant companion in the form of my parents & sister. Most of my in-a-similar-situation friends whine about how their people are pressurising them too much to get married to a business-man guy from Dubai or an SWE from USA. But my dad & mom say - Sin, we know its not an easy decision, but we are around to do this together. And my sister's forever talking about how different things will be before & after marriage and what to try to understand from the initial stages itself, rather than just looking at a person superficially & being impressed by it.

I have learnt that the girly dreams I had 6 years back belong to Utopia and practicality is the way to go in this world. All I can do is hope for the best and hope things work out the best way.


(P.s. Random rant it is. Subbu - you'll get your fun-filled post soon. Kindly adjust madi :D)